Evening entertainment and dead animals. :-(

The trip to the pub was interesting! We had managed to be there half an hour when daughter spilt a few drops of juice on her top. This caused an immediate meltdown. Unfortunately, she is obsessive over her clothes and highly sensitive to things that are not 'right' in the way that clothes are supposed to be dry, not wet. (unless its a swim suit). She came at me and I had to restrain her, the area we were in was busy and there were 8 or so of us sat around the table. I pulled her onto my lap and let her rage where she couldn't damage anyone or anything. One of my friends subtley moved the table away so she didn't manage to knock drinks over or hurt herself whilst she was lashing out. It was a relatively mild meltdown, only lasted 10 minutes. Its not the first time she has reacted like that in public. The last time a drink was spilt, she ran out of a restaurant screaming like a crazed animal because she couldn't cope. To be fair, it was almost half a pint of beer, so I get the issue. This time it was a few drops of juice. I could hardly even find it on her. But she knew it was there. 

There was a time where she would only have a meltdown in the privacy of our own home and in front of just her family. However, this has progressively worsened. She now doesn't care who sees her or where she is. Another sign of her lack of ability to cope. In a way its good because she doesn't bottle everything up and explode at home as she used to do so often. In a way its bad, it shows how whatever 'condition' she has is affecting her ability to think in a rational manner.  I have always said I am glad she doesn't do this at school, but she is so volatile, I can honestly see that changing which worries me even more. I have already spoken to the school about my concern, and they have seen her being extremely violent. In fact, the worst attack she made on me was in front of the school, witnessed by a couple of staff and anyone else who was looking out the window. So they know. They have been warned!

Sadly, it would probably help my fight if she did have a meltdown at school. I already know a childs case is taken more seriously when a child has been excluded for violence. I have a friend who fought as I have been and got nowhere, until her son hit out at school. Then people up above seem to sit up and listen. She now has a diagnosis and her son has regular TA support. The effect of him hitting a teacher helped her case. Its wrong, and makes me mad that teachers are put at risk with violent children because parents are not listened to.

 

Parents nearly always get blamed for their childs behaviour in the first instance. If something isn't right with a child, its often assumed its because the parent has done something wrong. That's not fair either. Hidden disabilities, of all kinds, need help and support, not blame. Autism, depression, anxieties and countless other conditions are all to often swept under the carpet, because people don't understand. And often they don't try to understand because they cant see it. Its nobody's fault, nobody wanted this. Its all to do with the different ways the brain works and processes information. Its not the parents fault, there is no blame to be had. The important thing is finding out what is wrong and working to improve things. Yet its such a fight sometimes to get the help that's needed.

On the bright side of the evening, daughter was tired when we got back from the pub, so she went to bed really nicely. So I got a peaceful celebratory glass of wine. :-)

This morning we awoke to grumpiness! One very whingey daughter who was clearly trying to wind up my husband and I as we did some housework and took the tree down. She followed us around, strumming loudly on her guitar and singing twinkle twinkle as loudly and as out of tune as she possibly could. That was followed up by her deciding she wanted to see our friends horse and following me around for 20 minutes repeating 'I want to see the horse' non stop. Whilst trying to avoid her, I went to the conservatory to feed the gerbils. One was belly up and most definitely not breathing. I got past daughter and let her follow me into the kitchen whilst I got a bag to scoop it up into. Then, ran back to the conservatory and locked myself in. Daughter didn't realise why and opened the window, still saying to me 'I want to see the horse' over and over. After scooping up the gerbil and putting it in the bin, I proceeded to tell the kids one had died. It was sons, so we had a few tears. Daughter wasn't bothered. Other than to say I had to stop hers dying too. Mmmmm...I am kind of wondering how to stop a 3 year old gerbil dying? Any tips gratefully received....Still, the shock of the dead gerbil stopped the horse nagging and son was soon cheered up with a Mac Donalds. Its the small things....
So on that note, we are out for lunch.

For those of you who don't know, I believe our daughter has PDA type autism. We are fighting to get a diagnosis through the NHS as they fail to recognise it despite it being known about for over 30 years. Please help us fight. We have a petition we need signing and sharing. Will you support us?
http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/57807