Friday, 7 February 2014

Ducks dislike to unexpected change of plans.

I have to say the school reward chart has done better than I expected. In all, Duck got 10 minutes golden time today, so she went in well twice. She hadn't hit or kicked me and she had not needed retrieving from wardrobes or underneath beds to get her to school at all. Until today!

Duck got ready well, despite her being awfully upset as it is her brothers birthday (Happy Birthday to our 11 year old, this makes me feel old). Duck was very excited for brother, then had a meltdown as she got no presents. We have this every year. Nothing has changed there. She always is so excited, then has a meltdown when she gets nothing. We have never brought either of them a present for their siblings birthdays, and never will. I am sure we will have the same tantrums for the next 9 years too.
However, Duck did actually say sorry to him for ruining his day (proud moment) then she got ready for school. She was allowed to take some craft stuff in for her golden time. She appeared with a box full of bits which I said she could take as long as she did not expect me to help carry as I knew the school would not help, so she had to be able to manage.

We got to school, expecting SENCO to meet us as normal. Duck walked proudly into the office with rucksack on back and box in hands. Senco wasn't there. :-( Duck did not cope with the news that they were going to find her and in the mean time another teacher would take her through. Duck loves this other teacher. But it was a change to the plan. School have never seen Duck have any issues with change. Today they did! Duck was rude, and I mean really rude in the way she spoke to this other teacher. Saying she cant go because senco was meeting her there. She told me she couldn't leave without senco because that was what was arranged. We coaxed, using the golden time, explaining she would go look for senco right away and everything we could think of. Duck froze, as if in a panic. After a few minutes, I marched her through the door with the teacher and closed the door, leaving quickly. I got a thanks of a footprint in my shin. No hitting though. She would not put her box of bits down to hit, so I got a swift back kick instead.

Now whilst I am horrified at the way Duck can behave, I came home happy about this. Strangely enough, school noted on Ducks autism assessment form that they have never seen any issues with change to routine. I could only see a positive that I had more to explain on Monday at our autism assessment about how she reacted to change. Then I realised, I am only her mum, and I would exaggerate, obviously, wouldn't I? So I called the school. I spoke to the teacher. I asked if she picked up on the issue being unexpected change, she said yes. I asked if she felt Duck was rude in the way she spoke to her, she said yes. I asked if she saw her kick me, she said yes. Then I asked if she would write a statement down for me by the end of today so I can use it as evidence that the school have seen issues around Duck and change of routine and she said YES!!!

I can go to our appointment with more evidence saying Duck has autistic issues and the school are witnessing more and more, even since they filled their form out just 2 weeks ago. I can go and say the change of routine is subtle, but most definitely there. AND ITS NOT JUST ME WHO SEES IT!

Then I got called into school regarding something totally different, less than an hour after requesting the statement. Whilst I was there, a letter was handed to me. It explained how Duck was distressed because she was meant to meet senco and she was 'rooted to the spot'.  It also explained how she kicked me and the rude tone Duck used.  It went on to say after I left, Duck still refused to co-operate and any attempt of engaging her was met with 'I don't care', 'No', or 'I will stay here' until senco arrived. It wasn't because of her love for senco (although Duck does like her). It was because Duck cannot cope with change. The plan was to meet senco. Duck couldn't grasp that senco was not there. Simple.

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